Catching the Theatre Bug
These memories take me back to the moment I first caught the theater bug. I’ll spare the full story, but it all started with a handful of unexpected moments—just times when improvisation became necessary during a scripted play or musical. Most actors can point to that time when the universe told them, THIS is your calling. The moment they decided to spend a lifetime trying to pursue the dream.
Now at age 52, after 30 years of acting professionally, 22 years of improv comedy, and 20 years day job free, I can truly proclaim, “YES! And… changed my life.” On and off stage, as an actor, teacher, public speaker, and husband, I have benefitted from the art of Improv and the lessons of “YES! And…”
Let me explain.
The Moment It Clicks
Of the thousands of students and colleagues I have worked with the past two decades, almost every student has that profound moment. They don't always recognize it, but I see the change. For some students it happens five minutes into their first class. Most require a few classes, or even months and years to finally get “it”. Sadly, few never quite get there.
When a student, an artist, truly lets go of what they think “it” is, they let go of all fear of looking foolish. They let go of trying to be funny or clever. They let go of trying to be good. And suddenly they are awesome. That is day one of their journey. Everything else was preamble. They suddenly trust themselves to be funny or clever, or if they fall short, they can honestly say, “Who Cares?” and that makes all the difference.
Also a former opera singer, I am reminded of Maria Callas and others that would say, “Amateurs never crack.” As a tenor, if I “grab” a hi-G I might unnecessarily tighten the voice and the more important hi-C, the true money note at the end, will be weak. A professional singer knows it is better to crack in a moment than damage the voice indefinitely.
Similarly, once an artist crosses the threshold of trusting themselves, they realize:
- When you try to be funny, you sound Jerky.
- When you try to be clever, disconnected.
- When you worry about being good, you come off incompetent.
Ego, Insecurity, and the Lazy “No”
The day you truly let go of ego and insecurity, you become a sponge, a student of the world. Suddenly you skip the step of judgment and fear, and jump right to inspired thinking, or an everflowing river of ideas. You tap into the deeper subconscious, your library of knowledge and experience. You become your best self and open the doors to endless possibility.
We are all human. No one can truly conquer ego and insecurity. For the purposes of this discussion, I define ego as over compensation for insecurity, two sides of the same coin. Ego & Insecurity destroys self, personal and work relationships, teams, sales and customer service.
Ego and insecurity are our natural defense mechanisms. Especially in today's world of social media trolls, families torn apart by politics, and general uncertainty perpetuated by the media for their financial gain, being a creator of supportive safe spaces is a challenge. “NO” is often the instinctive choice.
In Improv performances, we never correct someone for saying the word “NO!” because in the course of a natural scene that reflects real life, our characters will utter the word often. An experienced improv artist, a “player” in our world, can say “YES! And…” to another player even as our character utters a definitive “NO”, and our scenes must still continue.
But, as we discover the power of “YES! And…” it is important to discuss why this is the #1 rule in improv. Unless we are actually in harm's way—physically, mentally or emotionally—“NO!” is usually the lazy or insecure choice. We don't want to take the risk, or simply don't want to get off the couch, proverbial or otherwise. For young players “NO!” too often is a manifest of the player's ego and insecurity. I highly recommend for rehearsals, classes and jam sessions, outlawing all use of “NO!” so that we can break those bad habits and take the leap.
Using Improv to Improve
To truly discover “YES! And…” I recommend joining a class or jam session today. But even if you never take a class, there are ways to practice “YES! And…” exchanges in real life, and they will change the way you think, feel, and communicate:
- As a teammate… give the ideas of others a shot, focus on making your team look amazing…
- As a leader… yes and your team, your employees, your students… great leaders serve their team, make sure their team is set up for success…
- As a sales force… yes and your clients… listen to their needs and wants so you can craft the best solution for them. It may or may not be the premium product you want everyone to buy, but they will become clients for life.
- As a customer service agent… in truth we are all customer service agents. Too often we pass the buck to client relations, but if we do our job with a smile, you will not need a phone bank or AI bot frustrating clients.
- At home… with partners, kids, parents…
In all elements of your life, catch yourself saying "NO!” and resist. Flip the script. As I learned at a Weight Watchers meeting, Do what you always do, get what you always get, so when your instincts drive you to “NO!”, give “YES! And…” a shot.
Before I wrap this article up, let me share with you how I start every class, workshop, or educational outreach show:
- My #1 Rule: HAVE FUN but never at another’s expense.
- Improv #1 Rule: “YES! And…” Focus on making your teammates look amazing. You never worry about your own success, as the entire team has your back.
- #1 Skill in Comedy? (Hold for guesses…) LISTENING! Listening with your eyes. Listening with the willingness to change.
- Start every day with a smile! If you want the world to smile at you, lead by example. When you smile all the time, it won't be fake next time on that sales call.
When you feel those thoughts of ego and insecurity, inferiority or superiority, simply go back to my three #1s. HAVE FUN, “YES! And…” and LISTEN! Now go and play—experience the world anew, with curiosity, courage, and a profound dedication to yes.